Just Wear The Damn Swimsuit | Self Love Sunday

Photos By Ashley Marie Creative Studios

I wrote a post last year about buying a new swimsuit for the first time in 8 years. I had every intention on wearing that swimsuit, but I never did. I tried it on when I got it, and I didn’t like how I looked in it, and never wore it.

I actually tried on the same swimsuit a couple weeks ago for the first time since last year and thought I looked fine. I actually am going to wear it this Summer! I haven’t gained or lost weight since then and I would look the same as when I tried it on last year, so what changed? My mindset.

I wish I could say that I look in the mirror and love everything I see. I don’t. There are changes I’m working on making, and things that I don’t enjoy looking at. That’s normal. That’s just part of being human- we aren’t going to love everything about ourselves all the time. I’m not a fan of toxic positivity when it comes to “just love yourself” and I’m sorry if I’ve perpetuated that at any point. If I did, it was all a part of my “fake it till you make it” phase of learning to love myself.

But, even if I don’t love everything I see in the mirror, I DO love myself and think I deserve to have a fun life free of worry that my body will be judged. I think I’m great. I’m a good friend, mother and daughter. I love my sense of humour and positive outlook on life. I love my sense of adventure. I love my new found sense of style that I developed after my separation. Finding clothes that I love has really helped me on the learning to love my body journey. I could list everything I love about myself, but that’s not what this post is about. This post is about YOU.

You aren’t your body. Your body is simply the vessel that carries your soul, and it doesn’t matter what it looks like. Maybe it’s because I’m in my 30s now and care less, but I am SO over this commenting on each other’s bodies thing that people do. WHY do we do this? Why do we comment negatively on our own bodies? Why do we care so much? How WEIRD is it that we look at someone else’s body and think “well, that’s not appealing to my eyes, and therefore I should make it known that I don’t like what I see”- like, what?

It’s not just weight that gets commented on. It’s any sort of physical aspect that is outside of this insane beauty standard that’s been drilled into our heads our entire lives. It’s body hair, blemishes, stretch marks, loose skin, visible veins (SO sorry the tubes my body uses to transport oxygenated blood around are visible), etc.

This also doesn’t just effect women- it effects all genders. Even my 7 year old son has been looking in the mirror lately commenting on his belly (he’s a totally normal weight). I know men who are too afraid to take their shirts off at the beach because they don’t want people to judge their body hair or dad bods. I’m just over it, and you should be too.

I also hear a lot of fear coming from the moms I know- fear of wearing a swimsuit that might show stretch marks or their changed bodies after having a child. Any changes that happened to your body after bringing LIFE into this world should be celebrated. Our kids need to see us celebrating our bodies at every stage, and they don’t care what we look like, they only care about the time we spend with them.

We NEED to see all different shapes and sizes wearing swimsuits without fear. We need to get rid of this notion that we aren’t allowed to enjoy ourselves in a swimsuit on a beach if we don’t have a “beach body”. We all deserve to run around a beach and have fun. We all deserve to make memories with our families without worrying that some stranger might not enjoy looking at us.

I spent my entire 20s hating my body- even the times it looked incredible, and I refuse to spend another decade doing the same. It literally doesn’t matter what OTHER people think about our bodies. Like, who cares? Why would I care that strangers on a beach might not like my body? We don’t need to be constantly worried about being aesthetically pleasing for other people.

I’ve been loving TikTok lately for body positive inspiration. There have been some great trends going around celebrating bodies of all different shapes and sizes, along with celebrating “flaws” and other things we may feel self conscious about. I think this trend needs to expand to other social media platforms, but most importantly to real life- and that starts with us. It starts with us wearing the swimsuit.

We need to realize and recognize that all shapes and sizes are beautiful and NORMAL. We don’t need to be wearing baggy clothing to hide our bodies from other people. We can and SHOULD wear what we want on a beach or at a pool. I want to be wearing something that allows me to swim and have fun without being weighed down. I want to be able to feel the sun on my skin (with sunblock #skincare) without it being covered by a t-shirt. I want to run around with my son and not feel self conscious about my body.

We can’t wait for the media to show us examples of our bodies in pop culture before wearing the swimsuit- we need to act now and be the real world examples we so desperately want to see.

I hope I’ve inspired you in even a small way to embrace your body this Summer. Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below! I’m not done talking about this topic, this is just the beginning.

D