30 Things I've Learned In 30 Years
I turned 30 on December 29th, 2019 (WHAT!?) I’ve been going through so many emotions over the last few weeks- feeling like I haven’t accomplished enough, feeling like I’m behind in life, like I wasted my 20s, etc etc. When I really unpack all of my feelings, I’m realizing that they are mostly irrational, and fueled by society’s fear of aging. I’m still the same person I was last week when I was 29, and it’s silly to feel like I’m not.
I’ve been doing some reflecting lately on all that I’ve accomplished over the years, and everything I’ve learned, and wanted to share it with all of you!
Here are 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years.
You don’t owe anybody friendship. This is a harsh one to start off with, but I’ve learned, and am still learning that you don’t need to stay friends with everyone you ever knew. I’ve always been a bit of a pushover, and I’ve had friends over the years who have done things that I don’t morally agree with, and I’m just over it. I don’t need to pretend to be okay with other’s actions just to keep a friendship. I want to surround myself with people who have the same values as I do, and life is too short to allow negative energy to seep it’s way in. This isn’t to say you don’t owe people kindness- it takes minimal effort to be civil to someone.
Hobbies are important! You need something outside of work to feed your soul. Join classes, try new things, start a side hustle, travel, etc.
There’s more to life than the small town you grew up in. I only moved an hour away from my hometown, but sometimes it feels like another world. We didn’t have any money when we moved here- just a car load of our stuff and our best friends, but we all found jobs really quickly, and almost 9 years later I’m still here. Even moving away for a year or two can be an eye opening and refreshing experience. I’ve learned to love anonymity, and not knowing anyone when I go to a store or event. I have friends who live in the same city as me, and even though it’s a small city, it’s taken years for me to accidentally run into them at the store. I’m at the point where I actively avoid stores in my hometown for fear of running into someone I knew in school. Go forth and be anonymous, friends- it’s great.
If you choose to make children, life is no longer ALL about you. It’s now your job to create an amazing life for your kids.
I was right about tanning beds! Are tanning beds even a thing anymore? In high school I used to tell EVERYONE not to use tanning beds, because they would end up with premature wrinkles and skin damage when they’re 30. Wear sunblock and hats, cover up, don’t fry your skin on purpose! I may have blinded people with my paleness, but my skin hasn’t changed that much in the last 10+ years.
Peer pressure is BS and you’re the cool one if you stand up to it. I used to get flack from people for always being the designated driver, or get side eye from smokers when I actively avoided their toxic clouds- but now at 30, I can honestly say I’m proud of myself for sticking to my guns. You don’t need to sit in a room full of cigarette smoke just because your friends are smoking. You don’t need to get wasted just because “being sober sucks” (it doesn’t btw). If you have the maturity to stand up to peer pressure (at any age), you’re the one who’s better off.
Drinking at any legal age should be in moderation.
Credit is SO important. If you find yourself at age 18 signing up for a student credit card, just STOP. You will get approved because you essentially have a pristine credit report at this time, and you will eventually max it out, causing a chain reaction of bad credit that will haunt you throughout your 20s.
Manifestation is real.
Social media for the most part, isn’t real. It’s a small snapshot of someone’s life, usually curated to look the best it can.
It takes precisely 0 energy to be politically correct.
College or University isn’t always necessary to have a job that pays well and brings you joy.
There is no direct path in life. Everyone reaches different stages at different times. I thought for sure by 30 I would have another kid, a house, and be working for myself, but I’m not there yet, and that’s okay. When I really look back over the years, I’ve accomplished a lot! Since turning 20, I’ve moved to a new city and got my first apartment (and then another apartment, and then a townhouse), gotten engaged and married, gave birth to the brightest sweetest handsomest son ever, wrote for various publications, got a job working for a wedding magazine, started my own side hustles, started a new blog, and then rebranded into this blog, went from driving old vehicles to being able to finance new ones (WHICH I now regret since I’m trying to get my finances in order, but what can you do), got a day job in my own province making almost $18 an hour (which I never would have thought possible 10 years ago), got a tattoo, started writing a novel, went on a dozen or more camping trips, and lots and lots of things in between.
Creating magic for your kids is SO easy and important. Go camping, build forts, get glow sticks and sparklers just because, read them stories by lantern light, let them help you cook, take them to the beach, get milkshakes and go for a drive, etc.
Outsourcing is sometimes necessary. As women and mothers, we are often expected to do it ALL. Have a clean home, work, be a good mom, have hobbies, take care of ourselves, etc etc. It’s easy to feel guilty about hiring a housekeeper, or using meal delivery or grocery pick up services, but just let all of that guilt go and DO IT! We haven’t had our housekeeper in since September when we got our puppy, and my house is falling apart. I’m not afraid to admit that I NEED the help, and since our old housekeeper is no longer doing it, we are interviewing a new one this week (and she charges less than our old one!) I’m SO excited to get that service again, I can’t even contain my excitement. I also recently did grocery pick up for the first time and I’m not looking back.
There’s no point in saving the “good” candles, perfume, etc for later. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and you can always get more when you run out.
Comparing your life to others is draining and useless. I used to feel so down about myself when I would compare myself to friends or family members who were well traveled, insanely smart university educated doctors, nurses, business owners, etc. Feeling that way got me absolutely nowhere. We all have different paths.
If there is something you want to do, just do it. Don’t want until you’re retired to visit that place you want to visit, or write that book. I’ve had a novel in my mind for years and finally started writing it this year, and my goal for 2020 is to finish it and start the process of sending it to publishers. I’m so glad I started it now, and even if I get 100 rejection letters, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing I completed it and won’t have to wonder “what if”.
Complaining is draining. I cringe at how much I used to complain about things- especially on social media. I’ve also been noticing how drained I feel when I’m constantly bombarded with status updates from other people who are complaining. I had to start hiding people on Facebook, or unfriending them altogether when they’re on the complain train. Being frustrated once in a while is normal, but when it gets to the point where it’s purely for attention or fishing for compliments & reactions, I’m out.
Your past doesn’t define your present.
Be nice just for the sake of being nice. Bragging about donating to a homeless person, or paying for the order behind you at Tim Horton’s makes you look self righteous and like you only did it for social media bragging rights. Just do good to do good. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t inspire others with your good deeds- just don’t be annoying about it.
Stand up for what you believe in. I can’t count the amount of heated arguments I’ve gotten in over the years with people who find it okay to hate on specific groups of people. I don’t care if you’re old and set in your ways, I’ll knock you off your soap box, right into this century.
It’s okay to lose touch with people over the years. The right people will always stay in your life.
The older I get, the less I care about what other people think of me.
Everyone should learn how to cursive write! It’s faster, it looks nicer, and it’s easy! I do worry about my descendants being able to decipher my handwriting when reading my journals someday.
It’s okay to live with rose coloured glasses on.
If you have something to say to someone, just say it.
Budgeting and saving is SO important #2020goals.
Don’t ask for advice from people you don’t want to be like.
Friends, family, children & pets make life worth living.